Emotional Roller Coaster

Nathan and I have been on an emotional roller coaster the last couple of weeks. We were really excited when our case worker called us and said that a birth mom wanted to place her 3 year old son and wondered if we wanted to be presented. He said both parents were willing to sign relinquishments. This was the ideal situation for us and so we said yes. Then we waited. When we did not hear anything after several days I called him. I can't imagine giving someone that kind of news and then not calling to fill them in. I mean we were in agony. So anyway when I talked to him he told me that the birth mom wanted to talk to me and that they hoped to have placement done in two weeks. I nervously called the birth mom who I instantly loved. She told me all about her little boy who was actually two but would be turning three at the end of the month. She also said that the birth Dad was not fully on board. She asked a lot of questions and asked me to e-mail pictures. When she said that the birth dad was not fully on board I think Nathan and I both tried putting up our guard. However, I e-mailed her some picture and told her to check out the blog that I had quickly created just for her. The next day I received an e-mail letting me know that she wanted to place her little boy with us. The e-mail include pictures of one of the most adorable little boys you have ever seen.

So, despite the fact that we knew Dad wasn't on board we started falling in love. I mean it is so hard not to get your hopes up and start day dreaming about life with two little boys. Again we didn't hear from our case worker for several days. So, again I called him. I explained that according to birth mom, birth dad was not fully on board and that until we knew where he stood we did not want to start doing visits. Again we didn't hear anything for several days so I called our case worker again. He asked when we wanted to start visits. I asked if everything had been worked out with birth dad and he said that it hadn't. I again explained how we felt. We wanted what was best for everyone. We did not want our hearts broken and we especially did not want to confuse this little boy. He said that it shouldn't be a big deal to get dad's relinquishment but they needed our finger prints back before they could place him in a home out of his state.

Again several days went by and I called our case worker. I explained that my family had a cabin in the state the little boy lived in and we could stay there if it would speed up the process. He said it would and said again that it shouldn't be to hard to get dad to sign the relinquishment. The next day I got an e-mail from the birth mom. She said that Dad was not willing to sing and she obviously couldn't place without his consent. She went on to say that she continued to hope that her little boy could be part of our family. To date I haven't heard a word from our case worker.

It may sound crazy but we do love that little boy and his birth mom. We want what is best for them.

It is a little bit frustrating. I told Nathan I was not going to call our case worker this time. I was going to wait and see how long it took him to call us with the news that Dad won't agree to placement. It is sad to say but the more money you have to spend the smoother things go when it comes to adoption, at least that has been our experience. Like Nathan said last night it is a lot better experience to adopt when you have $20,000 in the bank.

I just keep telling myself that we are supposed to be learning something from each of these experiences. I also know that these things don't happen by chance. Our child won't end up in some other family. We just have to be patient learn what we can from each experience and keep on praying.

P.S. If you know someone who knows someone who is considering an adoption plan for their child or infant keep us in mind.